Addiction

Controlling…

Never-ending…

Motivated by need…

By stress…

Losing yourself in it…

Escaping the lanes of traffic in your life.

We assume addictions relate to alcohol, drugs, porn or cutting.  We see trivial addictions as a favorite tv show, music, texting…but all addictions are just that—addictions.  What is the difference between satisfying your flesh with tv or satisfying it with drugs? How is stuffing your face with pizza to de-stress (AH I miss pizza) so different than the relief that comes from cutting one’s wrists?

You have your addictions if you will admit it. You don’t understand the addiction to cutting or drugs. So, neither do I. But be honest with yourself…

what are your addictions?

Boat Cruise- Chobe River

Mid-afternoon sun glistening off the deep blue waters of the Chobe River as I hurry to meet my boat for an afternoon safari cruise. To my surprise my boat has left, but another boat of 55-80 year old retirees from South Africa are willing to take me. As we embark to  do a mid-river transfer to the boat I am supposed to be on, the retirees ask me to stay on and join them on the water. I stayed, and it made me miss my grandmother almost to the point of tears. The people were so kind to me and helpful and were eager to identify the various bird species and let me get around them to shoot some photos.  As soon as I can shoot and uplaod the photos I will do a photo post, but it was wonderful and relaxing.  In addition to the multitude of bird life I saw monitor lizards, elephants, buffalo, hippos, crocs, puku, giraffe, kudu and impala.

The sun set against a cloudless sky and bounced off the ripples in the water. It was breathtakingly beautiful as Botswana always is. Tomorrow morning I may go on a safari drive in the morning. There can never be too many opportunities for me to shoot pictures.

Love Botswana Revisited

I re-entered the world of Love Botswana today.  As I walked around the plot it was great to see the smiling faces and excited gasps as teachers, employees, and students reacted to my presence.  It is wonderful to know you have been missed.

I even got to see my baby Lorato, my little pride and joy.  She is one of my students from standard 1 and I just love her to pieces.  She lost her father when she was in Kinder and her mom works very hard to provide for the 3 children.  I adore the little girl and it just melted my heart to see her again.

The young students paraded me around their playground to show off what they could do on the equipment whilst I tried to sit and talk with the teachers. Firaas remarked, “Ms Erin!!! Wow, you came back! From standard 1 to standard 3!” So precious!

Now I am trying desparately to communicate with Jana on a job list for the month that i am here.  I really am looking forward to serving them and giving of my time to them.  She has been quite busy now as God is directing her to be more involved in many areas and she is without an asistant to aid in the normal office tasks.  Anyway, I’m sure I will get a clera vision of her time, but for now I am patiently waiting for her to give me further guidance.

I delight in being back here. It is as if I never left. I just will continue to pray now as God guides my decisions on where and when to return to Africa and settle permanently.

African Adventures

Sometimes the unknown can make the trip worthwhile…sometimes the land of discover open your eyes to new things…sometimes the idea of spontaneity can inspire one change her thoughts…

As I attempted to visit a friend on the other side of town, I had to take a combi (bus/ mini-van) but didn’t know which one.  I was told I could walk to get a route 6 bus and that it wasn’t far. I left Munya’s house and started thinking and dreaming and observing the landscape around me.  The houses, the people, the two kids leaning against their house staring at me. The man washing his dishes outside…does he not have running water?  I thought about how much the landscape and people and houses can change–seeing nice houses next to shacks. I’ll take pics tomorrow.

I walked to the circle (round-a-bout) where I was informed I had to keep going.  I continued until the next set of robots (traffic lights) and was again informed that I could still walk it wasn’t far, but I had to turn up another road. By the time I reached the bus rink (3km) I realized I could have taken a combi next to munya’s house and saved myself the walk

I greeted so many people on my walk from many different walks of life– from the man in a suit, to the old woman, the young mother, the school girl, the peace job worker, the young ladies, and the combi drivers. All of that, was worth the walk.  All of that, was worth the 45min it added to my trip.  All of that, was worth the enjoyment and relishing the streams and sounds of my beloved Botswana.

What a way to spend a day! Ka moso I will be visiting with one of my daughters (boarders) for lunch. I can’t wait to see that wonderful face and give her a sweet hug.  We will have such a joyous time of catching up.  However, tomorrow I only have to take 1 combi HA and I don’t have to walk nearly as far! Too BAD!

Homecoming

I could hear the sound it makes as it warns other animals of a threat. I flashed my eyes over to the trees shading the pool and there I saw them. There in the tree were two ‘go away’ or grey lorreys.  And I knew I was home.

It’s funny when you finally feel ‘at home’ again. What makes that happen? What makes that calm settle over you?

I am in the capital of Botswana now, just enjoyin friends and growing and sorting through memories and future plans. I think I had been here less than 2 days when I stated that I didn’t want to leave.

I realized having obligations in the US is all tha is drawing me back there.

Affective Reflective

Africa…africa…it kept popping out on their papers.  Africa..africa…it dotted the landscape of the writing assignment. Why you ask? Why do they write about Africa? Why do they dream to see it, to feel it, to explore it?

Sometimes as teachers we fail to realize what our children are listening to, what they are grasping on to, what information is affecting them.  Sometimes we think they are a nonporous material unable to absorb anything in the classroom, only to realize they are actually a sponge soaking up the stories, the relationship, the love and yes the education too.

My students have been writing about visiting Africa.  Yes, I talk about it occasionally–and by occasionally I do mean once a week As I was reading, I started to reflect on how much we really affect our students. I spend more time in a day with my students than their parents do and for some of them, more time than they spend with their parents in a week or a month! That statistic seem outrageous to you? It shouldn’t.  Not when children go home from school at 4 only to chill with friends on the way, watch tv and talk on the phone until 10 and sleep at 12. Hopefully, they sat down with them over dinner for 30min, but I am not sure that even happens anymore for some of these kids.

When you take time to realize the power, the effects, and the love you can have for your students, it changes how you want to treat them.  It changes how you want to respond to them.  It changes the relationship you develop with them. Being a teacher may be one of the most stressful jobs as many say, but it is also the most rewarding.

This time of year is when we all start to long for summer, kids included, but if you take time to reflect, they are learning something from you, even if you feel like they didn’t learn anything academic all year. What about the love, the nonverbal cues, and the stories you intertwine into your day to make school applicable to them?

So much yet so little

So much has happened I could have posted about yet I seem to have so little time. Yes, worse than normal as I am only grading papers every 3 weeks and I’m not as prepared as I could be. HA. Tomorrow (I know you have heard that before) I will try and post some pictures from Sedona, AZ last weekend.  I went up there to see Heather and Michael Walker, missionaries in Botswana, friends of mine I worked with, who were speaking at churches there.  It was terribly cold (40) and stormy, so the pictures of the red Sedona rocks against a snowy mountainous backdrop look cool.  I’ll post later this weekend and maybe even a little about what’s going on in my life.  Anyone out there reading this, just pray that I get direction from God.

American Christianity

What is this religion we holdfast to in the grad ol’ US of A? Where did it come from? Do you believe in it? What happened? Have you ever stopped to notice how altered and morphed this faith in the one true God this love of a Savior this desire to live like Christ has become?

Or do you live in a place where you don’t see it…you aren’t faced with it day in and day out…it isn’t shouting at you wherever you look…

I was just texting with a friend…a friend I don’t actually know well but a brother in the faith.  He was asking about issues and faith and life and Christ.  I started pouring my thoughts and ideas and feelings and well you will see what happens when I start to let go.  Below is a copy of what what I said to him.  I have never read it that way or heard others make that same statement and I definitely don’t intend to offend anyone.  However, the reality of the state of twisted Christianity that Satan is using to make people venomously hate God is something we need to realize and unite to change.

…here  people daily are so polluted by American Christianity its just like in Africa…

…when the first missionaries brought Christianity and allowed the nationals to mix african beliefs and Christianity and said it was okay so then that Voodooanity became Christianity

…well its the same here… this American Christianity is what people think is the true Christianity and they hate it and well they should, but it isn’t Biblical Christianity…

It isn’t Jesus …It is’t the cross …it isn’t the grave or resurrection… it isn’t eternity…

It really just ISN’T…

Gasping for air

Look at her dirty, ragged clothes.  Her fingers are dark brown–caked with dirt from weeks ago.  Watch her as she scrambles to grab the piece of bread fallen from the shoppers sack. She doesn’t stop to wash her hands or brush off the now muddy bread. Instead, she tears pieces off in a hurry, shoveling the morsels of nutrition and sustainance into her watering mouth…

As I sat there, sat there starving, I started to drink in the worship, I started to let His word seep in through my pores.  I couldn’t get enough.  I didn’t care who else was there or watching or worshipping.  It was about nutrition-spiritual nutrition- and sustainance.  It was time to feast, time to be fed.

Have you ever thought about Spirtual nutrition and food in terms of a starving child? I had the opportunity to attend my home church last Sunday and it made my $400 plane ticket to Michigan worth every penny.  Did God move in a unique way? No. Did I receive revelation? Nothing abnormal. But I did get to feast, something I haven’t been able to do in 4 months.  It was good too. Good to hear the Lord. Good to be fed meat instead of the milk I have been receiving. Good to have friends listen to my heart and see the need to take me to the Lord in prayer. Good to have my pastor give me a genuine hug and ask how life is in Phoenix.

It was fulfilling…

Headache Freedom

Reflecting on the last 90 days of teaching, I noticed that I simply had a headache everyday.  Not until I was thinking about how often I was complaining of it or how often I was taking something did I realize how frequent they were. The true reality hit when I realized that I haven’t had one since my last day before Christmas vacation…hmmm..

The headaches apparantly are a direct result of the level of stress I endure at school.  That is probably not a good thing on so many levels, but I am happy to to be headache free for a while.

Officially, we have 90 days of school remaining.  That may seem like a small number, but in it we have AIMS testing, the long length of Spring (don’t you remember how long March and April are?) and of course the stress of making sure we meet all of our goals in order to receive all the bonus money we deserve.

I hope that in these next 90 days I strike a chord with just a handful of my students…that the lights come on for someone who has been in the dark the last couple years…that something happens in one of my students to cause them to love learning…that I will be remembered by a handful.

Yes, I am stressed at school and yes, I love my kids.  They are precious and tiring and drive me crazy, but I can’t wait to see where they will go.  A few of them will stray, but I pray for those. And a few will walk that straight A-B path by no result of my work of course.  And a very few, maybe 1-2 I am thinking of specifically, will hopefully be the ones that prove everyone wrong and become something so great!