It could be the beat that drives you to excitement, serenity, or even aggression.  Maybe the words encourage you to be destructive, inventive, or hopeful. Sometimes the words of a song remind me of the of the attitude I need to possess.  Often I choose to recite songs that play off my mood or allow my thoughts to wander in particular directions.  I can think of a song I know to remind myself of promises and truths of life.

Yesterday, this song came to my mind without much prompting of my own.  I was walking Piper back to the house, when I found myself singing this song to her.  It’s lyrics seem to be a description of my journey–my journey in life lately, personal and spiritual, and also my journey here in Botswana.  I was focused in on the first verse, mostly.  It is true that life has been faced with challenges–some I am still learning to admit and some I am just discovering, but I know this is a time of re-discovery for me.  The irony of the remembrance of this song is that I am not looking to Him in the hard times, instead I have been looking into myself.  It is more of a revelation song of what I know I need to be doing and currently I am not.

Being this real is often difficult for me, but I know it is part of growing up–part of maturing.  The lyrics are here below.  Read them. See if they spark anything inside of you…

Out Of Eden
Lovely Day

When troubles come my way
I look to you and everything’s ok.
When help seems to disappear
I look to You and then its all so clear.

When hard nights turn into hard days
How i long to seek your face.
When blue skies turn to gray
I look to You and then I know its gonna be a
it’s gonna be a lovely day.

When I wake up in the morning, Lord
and the sun light hurts my eyes
and something without warning, Lord
bears heavy on my mind.

Then I look to You (then I look to You)
and the world’s alright with me (and the world is alright).
Just one look to You
and I know its gonna be (its gonna be).
I think its gonna a lovely day.

(a lovely day) lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day

When the day that lies ahead of me
seems impossible to face.
When someone else instead of me
always seems to know the way You know thats when I look to You.

Then I look to You and the world’s alright (and the world’s alright with me).
Then I look to You and the world is alright with me
Just one look to You (just one look to You and I know its gonna be)
(just one look to You) just one look to You and I know it’s gonna be
(and I know its gonna be) I think it’s gonna be a lovely day.

(a lovely day) lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day

When I wake up in the morning Lord and the sun light hurts my eyes
and something without warning Lord You know that it bears heavy on my mind.
When the day that lies ahead of me seems impossible to face,
and there’s someone else instead of me always seems to know the way.

Then I look to You and the world is alright (and the world is alright with me)
Then I look to You and the world is alright with me.
Just one look to You and I know it’s gonna be…gonna be…gonna be

(a lovely day) lovely day, lovely day………

when troubles come my way
i look to you and everything’s ok
when help seems to disappear
i look to you and then its all so clear
when hard nights turn into hard days.
how i long to seek your face.
when blue skies turn to gray
i look to you and then i know its gonna be a
it’s gonna be a lovely day
when i wake up in the morning, lord
and the sun light hurts my eyes
and something without warning, lord
bears heavy on my mind
then i look to you (then i look to you)
and the world’s alright with me (and the world is alright)
just one look to you
and i know its gonna be (its gonna be)
i think its gonna a lovely day

(a lovely day)lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
when the day that lies ahead of me
seems impossinle to face
when someone else instead of me
always seems to know the way you know thats when i look to you
then i look to you and the worlds alright (and the world’s alright with me)
then i look to you and the world is alright with me
just one look to you( just one look to you and i know its gonna be)
(just one look to you) just one look to you and i know it’s gonna be
( and i know its gonna be) i think its gonna be a lovely day

(a lovely day) lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, lovely day
when i wake up in the morning lord and the sun light hurts my eyes
and something without warning lord you know that it bears heavy on my mind.
when the day that lies ahead of me seems impossible to face,
and theres someone else instead of me always seems to know the way
then i look to you and the world is alright (and the world is alright with me)
then i look to you and the world is alright with me

Why do we say that anyway? Why would you pick up a new leaf to look at the other side? For that matter, a new leaf would not have fallen on the ground, so you would be turning over a leaf on a tree branch.  But Why? What does it prove…

If you know me at all, you know I LOVE to ask questions, no matter how insignificant they may seem to you, I love to ask questions! So here I am researching this… according to the good ol’ internet the leaf is actually the page of a book (so why did they change ‘book’ to ‘leaf’–I don’t know)

Here is me, Airynn, turning over a new leaf in the blogging world.  I have challenged myself to blog 3-5 days a week.  There is no doubt that I love to write or that I have a million and one thoughts running through my mind of possible posts.  I am simply making this commitment public and trust me I take that more seriously.

Now that I have moved back to Botswana, Africa let me not try and pretend I can’t find time and stories to share on my blog! Plus, I know many of you would love to stay updated on all of my African Adventures!

Never-ending…

Motivated by need…

By stress…

Losing yourself in it…

Escaping the lanes of traffic in your life.

We assume addictions relate to alcohol, drugs, porn or cutting.  We see trivial addictions as a favorite tv show, music, texting…but all addictions are just that—addictions.  What is the difference between satisfying your flesh with tv or satisfying it with drugs? How is stuffing your face with pizza to de-stress (AH I miss pizza) so different than the relief that comes from cutting one’s wrists?

You have your addictions if you will admit it. You don’t understand the addiction to cutting or drugs. So, neither do I. But be honest with yourself…

what are your addictions?

The sun set against a cloudless sky and bounced off the ripples in the water. It was breathtakingly beautiful as Botswana always is. Tomorrow morning I may go on a safari drive in the morning. There can never be too many opportunities for me to shoot pictures.

I even got to see my baby Lorato, my little pride and joy.  She is one of my students from standard 1 and I just love her to pieces.  She lost her father when she was in Kinder and her mom works very hard to provide for the 3 children.  I adore the little girl and it just melted my heart to see her again.

The young students paraded me around their playground to show off what they could do on the equipment whilst I tried to sit and talk with the teachers. Firaas remarked, “Ms Erin!!! Wow, you came back! From standard 1 to standard 3!” So precious!

Now I am trying desparately to communicate with Jana on a job list for the month that i am here.  I really am looking forward to serving them and giving of my time to them.  She has been quite busy now as God is directing her to be more involved in many areas and she is without an asistant to aid in the normal office tasks.  Anyway, I’m sure I will get a clera vision of her time, but for now I am patiently waiting for her to give me further guidance.

I delight in being back here. It is as if I never left. I just will continue to pray now as God guides my decisions on where and when to return to Africa and settle permanently.

As I attempted to visit a friend on the other side of town, I had to take a combi (bus/ mini-van) but didn’t know which one.  I was told I could walk to get a route 6 bus and that it wasn’t far. I left Munya’s house and started thinking and dreaming and observing the landscape around me.  The houses, the people, the two kids leaning against their house staring at me. The man washing his dishes outside…does he not have running water?  I thought about how much the landscape and people and houses can change–seeing nice houses next to shacks. I’ll take pics tomorrow.

I walked to the circle (round-a-bout) where I was informed I had to keep going.  I continued until the next set of robots (traffic lights) and was again informed that I could still walk it wasn’t far, but I had to turn up another road. By the time I reached the bus rink (3km) I realized I could have taken a combi next to munya’s house and saved myself the walk

I greeted so many people on my walk from many different walks of life– from the man in a suit, to the old woman, the young mother, the school girl, the peace job worker, the young ladies, and the combi drivers. All of that, was worth the walk.  All of that, was worth the 45min it added to my trip.  All of that, was worth the enjoyment and relishing the streams and sounds of my beloved Botswana.

What a way to spend a day! Ka moso I will be visiting with one of my daughters (boarders) for lunch. I can’t wait to see that wonderful face and give her a sweet hug.  We will have such a joyous time of catching up.  However, tomorrow I only have to take 1 combi HA and I don’t have to walk nearly as far! Too BAD!

It’s funny when you finally feel ‘at home’ again. What makes that happen? What makes that calm settle over you?

I am in the capital of Botswana now, just enjoyin friends and growing and sorting through memories and future plans. I think I had been here less than 2 days when I stated that I didn’t want to leave.

I realized having obligations in the US is all tha is drawing me back there.

Sometimes as teachers we fail to realize what our children are listening to, what they are grasping on to, what information is affecting them.  Sometimes we think they are a nonporous material unable to absorb anything in the classroom, only to realize they are actually a sponge soaking up the stories, the relationship, the love and yes the education too.

My students have been writing about visiting Africa.  Yes, I talk about it occasionally–and by occasionally I do mean once a week As I was reading, I started to reflect on how much we really affect our students. I spend more time in a day with my students than their parents do and for some of them, more time than they spend with their parents in a week or a month! That statistic seem outrageous to you? It shouldn’t.  Not when children go home from school at 4 only to chill with friends on the way, watch tv and talk on the phone until 10 and sleep at 12. Hopefully, they sat down with them over dinner for 30min, but I am not sure that even happens anymore for some of these kids.

When you take time to realize the power, the effects, and the love you can have for your students, it changes how you want to treat them.  It changes how you want to respond to them.  It changes the relationship you develop with them. Being a teacher may be one of the most stressful jobs as many say, but it is also the most rewarding.

This time of year is when we all start to long for summer, kids included, but if you take time to reflect, they are learning something from you, even if you feel like they didn’t learn anything academic all year. What about the love, the nonverbal cues, and the stories you intertwine into your day to make school applicable to them?

Or do you live in a place where you don’t see it…you aren’t faced with it day in and day out…it isn’t shouting at you wherever you look…

I was just texting with a friend…a friend I don’t actually know well but a brother in the faith.  He was asking about issues and faith and life and Christ.  I started pouring my thoughts and ideas and feelings and well you will see what happens when I start to let go.  Below is a copy of what what I said to him.  I have never read it that way or heard others make that same statement and I definitely don’t intend to offend anyone.  However, the reality of the state of twisted Christianity that Satan is using to make people venomously hate God is something we need to realize and unite to change.

…here  people daily are so polluted by American Christianity its just like in Africa…

…when the first missionaries brought Christianity and allowed the nationals to mix african beliefs and Christianity and said it was okay so then that Voodooanity became Christianity

…well its the same here… this American Christianity is what people think is the true Christianity and they hate it and well they should, but it isn’t Biblical Christianity…

It isn’t Jesus …It is’t the cross …it isn’t the grave or resurrection… it isn’t eternity…

It really just ISN’T…